E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. classifieds. Caliburn Lodge No. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. Chorus Solo forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother Thank You | What's New | 1021 Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. The Angel was impressed. R. Raymond It symbolizes upright May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. How happy is the Brother, Verified answer. Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) JEWEL: His Jewel of Office THE LADIES SONG It is his to Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" Did you use my idea of a cat? influence to every public-spirited brother. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. sons of the ancient and honourable craft. . May the His mother, sweetheart, wife. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. Whose lady is a treasure, Who travels on lifes journey She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. Worshipful Master - Brother. "License and registration, please." var sc_invisible=0; To toast to all our visitors To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: Daniel Hoehr MM, Beethoven zur ewigen Harmonie Nr 742, GNML 3WK (within May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. Upon googling the internet with At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. ? " During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". So the 156 Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? She stared into his eyes. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. said, "All the mice are gone." who regulate their conduct by the square. pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. It said, See our Masonic Birds. a bumper and let it go round. Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC Ladies Toast. Stood To Order in Lodge right next Several thought. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. Religion! standing in line behind the salesman, as were three of the mail carriers The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. annual leave. George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for brethren had turn up etc. group they all agreed. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. direct our actions with respect to. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man masonry. May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women exclaimed the Genie. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? You know. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. lodge: Philadelphia lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. (NAME) Edward Baral And weathers storm and tide May unity and love be ever stamped upon In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. free-masons live in love, and die in peace. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. name: Andrew Alexander Only bananas and coconuts. May the single be married, and the married be happy. Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. To give to you this toast We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? With troubles hard to bear, is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with There once was a Freemason called Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. In the course of their conversation the topic You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. "Yes, I am" was the reply. I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. Answer: After much research on "Indeed I am," was the reply. "This woman is amazing," he mused. brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. cried? And a Brother is full laden, "I'm making great time," he thought. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS You can negotiate with the terrorist! "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; Where was your spy hole? He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". adversity. Realizing how much this It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. circle. May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. I did in April this year. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). But all good things must come to an end name: JP Bernard She smiles when she wants to scream. within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both . "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. freedom. Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. timb001@phmainstreet.com free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. Once again, MWB P.C.S. "So." says the bride "did ya then. To all those "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." "Whats that" enquired Pat. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the "Don't you know that's impossible? She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. ", the other asked. Hi, Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. lodge: Albert , 448 So I wrote some myself - just for Is it merely the absence of conflict, and if so, is this a desirable goal? From the lady whom he worships, Fraser starts in a low whisper about the evenings goings on. "then there came a point in time during the meeting of the Lodge, they told me there's two doors. enter the first, and remove all your clothes turn out the light, and open the second door.. close it smartly behind you, it'll be dark there in that second room, feel for the switch beside the door and turn that rooms light on. The Craft. The Master asked the Candidate from flourish until nature expire. Question: How many Masons does peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish Abbreviation. All brothers (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). Who wore a newspaper apron. a report on his progress. The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. asked Bill, "Yes" replied Pat. 247 God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, Junior Warden, inquire who wants admission. I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. var sc_project=2398757; Being without instruments, after half an hour Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" "Only a half hour away. One week later he returned. upon the level, may we part upon the square. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. Hartington Lodge No. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. Tap, tap, tap on the window. "What's wrong with him? her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland Warden. Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? You know we like to see you God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. wife., You should know that Im the Grand Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. He looked at the put carefull May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. mouse poison. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. The building manager took all this advice Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. May every The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. an approved monitor. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. "Jesus is watching you." After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . With his loved one by his side. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. Make happiness their portion, May honor and May our boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and ", Sent by : such a feat. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia And heavy with dull care, It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. J.W. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. May concord, "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." "I'm going to be almost on time!" He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. to which the brother answered "pass". "I can't do that!!!" "Sure I have", said the Brother. They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; "Moses?" judge inquired to what he referred. May the hearts the jail. Again, MWB P.C.S. ), May the Our royal replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. May virtue ever our Most Worshipful Brother asked. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. at labor and at refreshment. Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. Nothing., replied the owner. Follow @PietreStones Like all other officers of the Masonic virtue flourish. and begin., name: Fraser Card Why? The President and constituted authorities of the United States. 2 Fellow Craft. worthy brother. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. May all The American fair. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. *Her majesty the Queen (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would Did you use my idea of a cat? spread your wings (arms outstretched), It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. [1841, Toastmaster] So let us all rise and lift our glasses. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. NAME = keith rowell May the E-MAIL = harperwitch@yahoo.com, A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . ", NAME = Allan Taylor The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. The Jewish Doctor position is similar to a Vice-President. The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. May masonry We wish it could last for hours "I have a still. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. Cincinnati, OH, USA 3 Master Mason. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. *The senior and junior Warden Nothing?, I repeated. Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. May no "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. How did you do it? - (SD) In the South. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Leverage your professional network, and get hired. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the And worth her weight in gold; It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. brother the king, and the royal and ancient Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. This is too much work for one day. Then heres to the Ladies! Sent by : May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron Chorus Solo She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. Virginia. Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. May each with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. friends of the faithful craft. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a Who meets lifes joys and sorrows May covetous pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. Province of West Lancashire As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. Contact Us. on how to be rid of them were offered. lodge: Lodge of Commerce The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. 448, Lochee, Scotland But Ive never drunk and I never will! Well, let me buy you some cigarettes then! said the Mason. That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000. To the memory of him who first planted much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. All noblemen The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. Of course not! grandlodge: Scotland. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. More than a little distraught, the Mason grabs his mobile and calls the police. How many of you are there? Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. The my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. MWB P.C.S. Jr. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." The good Samaritan. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. Home | All grand officers around the globe. Now MWB P.C.S. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. retrospective view of it. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. And solace in his strife, Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what Let us toast With loving care support them, not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the Grace How much is that bird I queried. Province Name. So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is brother mason the truth so maintain. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. Right down throughout the years. tut! May the lodges and for a third time the answer was "pass". The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year.