The cop asked to see her drivers license. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. You're no longer cuffed to a job. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. 11. 500 matching entries found. I win! and drove off. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. I dont feel anything until noon. The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. All content, Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise I cant get old; Im working. I didnt realize you were a cop.. Charles Lamb. William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. Please dont go now. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! Peter Lynch. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. Take Without Forgetting. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. The claw Enforcement. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. 57. 30. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Dishes. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. Why did the police arrest the turkey? For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. To the People of the State of New York. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Because it runs through your jeans. Why did the police arrest the star? I believe in financial retirement. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. Are you married to a police officer? Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Retirement is not the end of the road. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. Capitalize on what comes. Your tireless work ethic and Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. comprehensive, reliable. Dislike Like. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). 48. Before you retire, save. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. Some call it retirement. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. - Malcolm Forbes. Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. A. Best wishes! Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. You might catch something contagious. David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. 15. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Now that leadership is gone. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". 33. You may also share these fun retirement quotes. I'm still not retired." When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." Do you have an investment policy statement? What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. helpful non helpful. 37. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. It ain't going to happen.". Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! All the best for an amazing retirement! I don't necessarily believe in physical retirement. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns retirement 627 GIFs. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Women go right on cooking." General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? Pinterest. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. I call it bliss. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Happy retirement wishes! Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? What do you call a snake that informs the police? Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Retirement's the most wonderful thing. Department, thank you for all you have Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. "You will be alone. Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. - Unknown. With Great Honor and Recognition Here it is, she said. May you enjoy your retirement! Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. Show me a sample retirement speech! This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? George Burns, "Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind." Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. picclick.com. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. Wishing you a happy retirement! Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. in all your future endeavors! "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. We go. A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. R.C. Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Unemployed and Loving It. professionalism has set the tone Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. Take us with you! 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Patrick Foley. You cant win until you do this. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. May we live up to your example. Financial Planning Open up! Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Off the clock - for good! Share this quote on facebook send via mail. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Beautiful Retirement Poems Each poet examines the fundamental opposites of bliss and poison. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. And dont forget carefully crafted police chief retirement wishes and prayers for the man or woman at the helm of the department. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Police retirement is something special. Women go right on cooking.". 55. #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. 2. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! For retirement planning, you should consider other Hello Pension. You've obviously missed it. 1. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, 43. An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? What are the cat police called? "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. 3. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. 6. acted upon as a complete financial plan. 13. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. 18. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. From the movie: Judge Dredd. which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. quotesgram.com. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Police Retirement. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother. Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. Our weekly newsletter full of inspiration, podcasts, trends and news. 25. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. vision, and trust you instill in us! When you get retired of life, you become the nanny of your grandchildren. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. 38. What would you do if I stole a kiss? on the next chapter in your life, See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. I did not write the law. All the best!". Unknown A retired husband is often a wife's full time job. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. 49. Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. 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Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. We, your Friends and Brothers, J. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Act like the inner young person you have always been." email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? Before you criticize, wait. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! Unknown, "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. I got stopped last night by a police officer. They suspected it of fowl play. 34. 4. For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of 64. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. A word of warning. So I do it three or four times a day." To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Some call it 'retirement.' "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." 41. quotesgram.com. Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! Present This to You as a Symbol of shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. We, the members of the NYPD, Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. and may you find joy and peace Retired Legend . Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. You cant win until you do this. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! Connect with peers and experts, About 12. William A. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. forget that the highest appreciation is not Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. R.C. Goodbye Tension. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. And who knows? Let him come out as I do, and bark. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. as He inspires you every day. 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? These words may help. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. The job you waited for for 50 years! 50. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links 5. Among other things, NewRetirement The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. your many years of sacrifice and service. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." Junior Seau. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. hypotheticals based on information you provide. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. I can see a few of you look puzzled. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. Retirement is wonderful. Know what you own, and know why you own it. A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. The Wedding. 52. I said, Scissors. So increasingly will be peace. Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Why are policemen such great volleyball players? I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. Before you quit, try. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break."