Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. You are in control of your life. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. I do not know the answer to that. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. This is nuts. All rights reserved. Long story short. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. I need help moving on. We are two total opposite people. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. Sooner or later it'll be over. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. She bullied me into a wedding & now I am miserable. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. Good luck. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. What now? Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. form is an illusion. In the end its all about the kids. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. Op: get a job and support yourself. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. Need help, advice? To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. Learn more about. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. By Simon Maybin. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. Its been almost 5yrs. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. Americans love coffee. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. Single. Steve. Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. Ex GIrlfriend blocked me out of the blue! Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. Maybe he doesn't like being used. I was supposed to be the one. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. First step: Don't rush things. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? Are these issues still there? It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. Does the father know? Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. I was in the same boat. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. 1. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. First, she's too far along. Add to Collection. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. If you don't love her then don't be with her. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? Support yourself. He's controlling. He's not all bad. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. And 3 children. useless boy!! If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. Most were married to . We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. So, we got married. She is 6 months pregnant now. My kids are doing good. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. Welcome! I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? Having a baby is a life-changing experience and many want to ensure they do it at a time that is right for them. If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. (1 to 2 kg . It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), New Music Video: 'Badman Badgirl' By Becca Feat. not the father, mother or child. People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. Why not abortion?? Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". Be responsible of your act and decision on something. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. long story short. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . Does it feels good to fake your feelings? Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? It would feel odd. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. 2Face. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. and our Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. She needs someone that truly loves her. That showed up as a third factor." Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. You can be in a long-term relationship with someone and never get married. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. Being in a lo. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Does he still love me? think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. Welcome to the world little one! But I want to be a father. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her.